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YVONNE - Pregnantbitchtythirtysomething
Three months pregnant with a warm glow to match, Yvonne settles
into the role of office bitch. Her speciality is in the business
side of the web. She sells herself well to Mike - "I'm a specialist
in e-commerce, new client acquisition and development marketing"
- who decides they need a grown-up in the office.
She's had two long standing relationships - four years then
six and a half years, but when she turned thirty she found
herself alone for the first time since her teens. She spent
four years looking for the right man. The more she looked,
the harder the right one was to find. She gave herself a deadline
of 35, then went alone to the sperm bank.
Like most good sales people, Yvonne exists in a world of self-delusion.
The half-truths she tells are never malicious; they're always
to cover her own failings. Hence she sees her trip to the
sperm bank as a consequence of the failings of men in her
life. She claims to have left her last net job because of
the office politics; she actually resigned seconds before
she was about to be fired for being at the heart of most of
the intrigue.
Yvonne's the consumate petty bureaucrat and grade 'A' pessimist.
She always sees a crisis coming and she's usually right. She's
exceptionally good at the sweetness and light game when it
comes to group discussion.
She lives alone in a three-bedroom house in Clapham.
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