"HUNTER"
pops up on screen. Dodgy pinstripe, gold bracelet,
panto Robin Hood cap.
HUNTER
Accused? Arrested? Need legal advice?
Two Benny Hill "WPCs"
grapple him.
HUNTER
Don't panic! Call Hunters!
WPCs fetchingly wriggle.
His wrists strain against handcuffs.
HUNTER
Call me now on 0800, free, free,
free - free, free, FREE!!
The handcuffs burst apart.
DUNBAR
(O.S)
Fuckin' state of that.
VOICEOVER
Hunters - the fastest growing law
firm in the North West.
HUNTER
Remember! If you're collared - call
Hunters. On 0800 free, free, free - free, free,
FREE!
The WPCs chase him round
the screen.
INT. BAGNALL & DUNBAR OFFICE - DAY 4
DUNBAR in front of the TV with GULLIVER. DUNBAR
hits the remote - off.
DUNBAR
That's what we've come to. Used to
be a profession, now it's being dragged into the
dirt.
GULLIVER
It's a dreadful advert.
DUNBAR
Course it is, it's intended to appeal
to dreadful people.
GULLIVER
I can't imagine it has much effect.
DUNBAR
Doesn't it? Our legal aid contract's
been cut back, yet again.
DUNBAR glances wistfully
around his den.
DUNBAR
(CONT)
Small law firms like us are going
the same way as pandas and bus conductors. Ten years
from now there'll only be Hunters Mega Law Corp!
Answering the phone in Urdu, owned offshore, sending
out YTS trainees and Slovaks working for smarties.
We're a dying breed.
