My client is accused of using a word
to the officers which offended their sensibilities.
They are human beings after all. However, what if
my client was saying the truth?
Masturbator, Masturbatoris one who relieves themselves
for sexual pleasure. Most people these days say
"wanker". PC Lordson, have you ever relieved
yourself for sexual gratification?
PC LORDSON
(TO SPINKY)
Do I have to answer that?
SPINKY
You're under oath.
DUNBAR
Do you consider your colleague PC
Gooch to be a wanker?
PC GOOCH
Hey! You're bang out of order.
CLERK
Silence in court.
PC GOOCH
He's taking the piss. You want to
try being out there.
JACKSON
(HISSES)
Sit down!
DUNBAR
Answer the question PC Lordson. Is
PC Gooch a wanker?
PC LORDSON
(ANGRY)
Yes.
SPINKY
(SLIPS OUT)
Oh you tosser.
DJ
Mr. Sutherland! I'll have you in
contempt.
SPINKY
REALISES)
I apologise to the bench.
DUNBAR
It would appear my client cannot
be tried for something based on the truth. As PC
Lordson considers PC Gooch to be a wanker and the
prosecution concludes PC Lordson, is a - what was
that again - oh yes, a tosser.
SPINKY throws DUNBAR
a look.
DJ
Looks like this is turning into a
bit of a fiasco Mr. Sutherland.
SPINKY
I'm sorry ma'am. I think we should
move for dismissal.
