Outlaws | characters | Bruce Dunbar | Dunbar's School of law

Characters

Maximus Decimus

	DUNBAR
	Look, he’s a sad smackhead and I have to take what I can get. I ain’t got David Blunkett on my side.

	SPINKY
	I work for the Crown.

	DUNBAR
	No, you work for a clown. Cos as soon as you lot lose a case, he abolishes another cherished freedom that goes back to Magna Carta. The Right to Silence, Double Jeopardy, Previous Convictions, Trial by Jury... Oh dear, Spinky’s cocked up again, we’d better repeal another one.

	SARAH(AMUSED)
	When did you suddenly become a gladiator for truth and justice?

	DUNBAR
	No, I’m like Maximus Decius, me. Put in against two lions. I kill them both with me bare hands, so they chop off me legs but I still kill the next lion. So they rip out me arms and send in a tiger, but I headbutt that to death. So then they bury me up to me neck in sand and release the last lion. I move me head and bite its bollocks off. And Emperor David Blunkett jumps to his feet and shouts: “Fight fair, you bastard, fight fair!”